I’ve tried Googling “Halloween costumes for women with black hair” or “black hair Halloween costumes,” but I only found one website that gives suggestions for women with black hair. How depressing! A quick search using other hair color criteria proved equally fruitless. I can’t believe that with everything out there in the Interwebs (Halloween pun), practically no one has tried sorting Halloween costume ideas by hair color! It seems obvious and practical idea for people looking for hair-color specific costumes.

Hair color might not be a big issue for those with brown or blond hair, but as a black-haired person, and in particular, an Asian, it’s a little harder to find appropriate Halloween costumes, without resorting to wearing a cheap, obvious wig. Isn’t it interesting that this is the case, given that the majority of people in the world have black hair? Pretty much, anyone who isn’t Caucasian will probably have black, or at most, dark brown hair, and yet, there aren’t that all that many options for us. I guess part of it is the Caucasian-dominated culture of the U.S., which leads to an overabundance of Caucasian figures in pop-culture, film/literature, and history, but for a country that calls itself a “melting pot,” you might expect there to be more black-haired costume options. I could dress up as Serena van der Woodsen, Betty Draper, Princess Zelda, etc., but as you might imagine, it wouldn’t look quite right and people would be asking me all night what I was going for.

This should be obvious, but just to be sure, I’m not saying you can’t go as whatever the hell you want to go as, but I just wanted to offer some suggestions for people of my hair color specifically. So since no one else has tried coming up with a list, what are our best options, as black-locked ladies (well, at least black-haired, but rather light-skinned ladies, since I’m speaking for myself)? (And isn’t it telling that there’s no term for people with black hair in our culture, whereas we’ve got the terms blonde, brunette, and redhead?)

1. Any occupational or role-playing costume (e.g., cop, firefighter, teacher, nurse, jailbird, clown, sailor, cowgirl)

2. Morticia Addams

3. Cleopatra

4. Wonder Woman

5. Slave Leia, Leia, Padme

6. Elena (Catherine Zeta-Jones in Zorro)

7. Dark-haired Disney Princesses (Snow White, Mulan, Pocohantas, Jasmine, Esmeralda)

8. Any traditional ethnic costume that features black hair (Geisha, Latina, Native American, Polynesian/Hawaiian etc.)

9. Hermione, Cho Chang, random Hogwarts student

10. witch, devil, zombie

11. Sailor Mars, Mercury, Saturn, or Pluto (Yes, I am a Sailor Moon nerd)

12. Chun Li from Street Fighter

13. Any black-haired celebrity (Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, Lucy Liu)

14. Alex from Charlie’s Angels (the Asian one)

15. Jersey Shore girl, Snooki

16. Catwoman

17. Nothing that is made recognizable by another hair color (Jessica Rabbit, Poison Ivy, Princess Peach, Elle Woods etc.)

18. For law students: a character from a case

The options aren’t endless for people of other hair colors though. Some costumes just don’t look right, especially with weird sumo-wrestler wigs on:

I’m not sure what I’m going to be yet, but I’m glad I made this list, just to get ideas flowing. I hope I also helped some other black-haired girls in the process!

Sincerely,
Procrastinator

Love the mix of modern urban and 60's secretary style in these outfits!

In case you don’t recognize her out of character, Alison Brie, second from the left, plays Trudy Campbell on AMC’s Mad Men. Trudy, Pete’s wife, is one of my favorite characters on the show. She’s 100% class, which means she acts with self-restraint and civility even in her darkest hours. I can’t say that I’d necessarily want to be her, because she’s obviously living in a pre-feminist era, but I think that out of all of the female characters on the show, I find her to be the most likable. She’s not as flawed as the other characters, perhaps because she’s lived a rather sheltered life, which makes her remind me of Charlotte York from Sex and the City, but the fact that the other characters are very flawed isn’t really what bothers me. What piques me is the fact that the flawed characters let their personal problems get to them and take out their anger and frustration on the people around them, some of whom who care for and support them.

Why do I choose today to write after an oh-so-long hiatus? I suppose the whim caught me for a moment, and I decided to capitalize on it, rather than continuing to watch a Youtube video on how to spin flax fibers into thread, I might as well write about what’s on my mind.

Backing up for a second, the reason why I was watching this video was that I was reading the blog of Goldenmeans, who is a fellow Anthro-lover. As I read her blog, I thought about how many other other fashion-lovers seem to take significant time out of their day to write about clothes and learn about clothing/fabrics/designers in general and decided that I should put in more effort to do the same.

The reason I was reading the blog in the first place was that I just bought a new top from the Anthropologie that opened up this summer in Harvard Square and was flipping through the October catalog that I threw in the bag right before I left the store.

A romantic, silk and cotton blouse replete with floral embroidery

I suppose it’s ironic that I took their catalog on my way out, but as any Anthro-obsessed girl will tell you, their catalogs are works of art–true fashion photography. The usual experience: Upon opening a catalog with bated breath, one silently prepares for the marvelous sights to behold. I have said this before, but I’ll say it again, the way I would describe Anthropologie’s marketing strategy is to make women feel nostalgic for places to which they have never been and experiences that they have never had.

Just as an example, the first half of the October catalog juxtaposes a minimalistic art studio filled with subdued, neutral tones, and lavish, decaying Greek statues and reliefs. The blond model’s hairstyle (and there is usually only one model per setting), is braided and gathered loosely in the style of an ancient Greek noblewoman, with wisps of hair escaping gently from behind the ears. The model chooses to grace the viewer with her languorous, blue-eyed gaze in only half of the photos. Each photo is lit perfectly with natural light (and probably in part with some white light-bulbs that imitate natural light). As I have just illustrated, one does not even need to begin to describe the actual clothes the model is wearing to make someone living a rather ordinary, suburban life long to peer into the fantasy world in which the model lives.

Anyway, Goldenmeans, like many other women interested in fashion, does the whole outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) thing, and it’s been a casual pastime of mine over the past several years to look at the outfits people post on various websites, particularly Chictopia, where I have an account. Since Goldenmeans wears and reviews a lot of Anthro clothing, I quite enjoyed perusing her blog entries, even though her body type is quite different from mine. She looks to be about my age, but she is definitely curvier and darker-skinned.

Backing up from the blog, the reason I was looking up blogs about Anthro clothes in particular tonight was that I was somewhat frustrated after my purchase at Anthropologie. Although I love the romantic, cream-colored, short-sleeved blouse I bought, it was expensive, very expensive, for a cheapo like me: $98. I mean c’mon Anthro, I’m not made of money!

The issue is not even that a basic, short-sleeved blouse, however adorable and elegant, is that expensive. I get that Anthro caters to a particular demographic. The issue is that I have been a loyal Anthro customer for over four years now, and I know for a fact that price inflation is rampant with this store, with pricing increasing much faster than the rate of inflation. One fateful night during my freshman year of college, I made my first Anthropologie purchase online. The mesh green tie-back top I bought was $68. Sure, it was a summer top and a little more lightweight than the one I just bought, but there was an abundance of tops for $68 on the site. (Just as a side-note, Anthro loves prices ending with the number “8.” I wonder if this has anything to do with marketing research showing that customers are too jaded with prices that end in “9″ and have woken up to the fact that ending prices with “9″ is just a simple ploy to not have to change the tens place on the price-tag.) Today, a quick perusal of Anthro’s site reveals that the prevailing price of most short-sleeved blouses is $98. Yes, dig deeper and you’ll find a few $78 and even a couple of $68 tops, but these blouses are a lot simpler and less attractive than the average, $98 blouse. The price point goes up from there up to a whopping $368 for a rather simple looking blue blouse.

Fine, if I’m going to make an argument, I might as well get quantitative about it. A quick analysis of all of the clothes under the category of “blouses” reveals that of the 72 blouses, the cheapest blouse checks in at $58, and there is only one of those. Next, there are 4 blouses at $68. These are followed by 9 blouses at $78 and 11 blouses at $88. Next, there is a plurality of 17 blouses for $98, which is roughly 24% of the blouses. These tops are the standard embellished, embroidered, or appliqued blouses that your average Anthro-lover would gravitate towards because it is the maximum price at which she will seriously consider buying the blouse and can justify to herself that the blouse is worth it. After that price point, the number of blouses at any one price shrinks dramatically. There is a $20 jump to the next price, with 4 blouses at $118, but then there are 8 at $128. This price could be the next stop sign for women with some more money and higher price tolerance because this is followed by merely 3 at $148, 2 each at $168 and $178, and from there, 2 or 3 each up to the two most expensive blouses that come in at $258 and $368, respectively.

The $368 blouse. A close-up reveals that the rather plain-looking blue fabric actually has many detailed designs on it. But overall, this blouse does not strike me as very special.

If I were casually browsing the clothing racks, I don’t think there is anything particularly special about the two most expensive blouses that would make me guess that they are so much more expensive than the others. I think anyone who would buy such blouses at that price clearly has money to throw away. I definitely see a big shift between the way the clothes look between the $88 to $98 range and perhaps another slight jump from the $128 to $148 range, but beyond that, they all look the same to me. I hypothesize that main reason the clothes get so much more expensive after $148 is probably because of the particular brand name, rather than the craftsmanship of the blouse itself. For example, the $368 one is an Anna Sui blouse. Her Anthropologie clothes are always more expensive than other clothes of the same appeal, which just goes to show what a popular brand name can do for you. Oh God, law school thoughts are suddenly entering my head. I am reminded of the case Wood v. Lady Duff-Gordon, which starts with “The defendant styles herself ‘a creator of fashions.’ Her favor helps a sale.” Eff, do I have to Bluebook the citation now? (Hell no.)

So the point of this segment of this blog entry is pretty much to explain why I was watching the Youtube video, which was because I was reading the blog, which was because I was browsing the Anthro catalog feeling frustrated at the prices, which was because I made a new Anthro purchase, which was because I was out and about in Harvard Square looking for board games at a store I found on Google Maps called Games People Play. I didn’t end up buying the games because they were overpriced, yet I ended up buying a $98 blouse. Oh, the irony.

Anyway, while we’re on the subject on Harvard Square. I wanted to add my secondary purpose for this entry, which is to tell you a bit about my life in law school so far. For now, I want to list the main reasons why the location is nothing short of awesome:

1. I live across the street from a supermarket! I can get fresh ingredients right before I cook, instead of planning what I want to eat weeks ahead of time, hitching a ride to the store, stocking up, and letting some food go bad inevitably.
2. The campus (thank you thank you thank you) is FLAT.
3. Because of 2., I can ride a bike to class in 5 minutes!
4. The law school buildings are all within a 1 or 2 minute walk of each other! No departing one building 15 minutes before my next class to make sure I’m not late.
5. Although I have not yet taken advantage of it, there’s a beach volleyball court right outside the law school dining hall.
6. The law school has its own gym. And oh yea, membership is free.
7. There is a pub in the basement of a school building, a concert hall that looks like a church. Irony and coolness.
8. There are so many squares where you can shop around here. There are probably 10 within biking distance.
9. Harvard Square actually has establishments like a movie theater, a yoga studio, toy shops, Crate and Barrel, multiple book stores, Staples, Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, and a plethora of restaurants, unlike C-town, which pretty much only has the latter.
10. Public transportation: there are T stops within walking distance. The T can bring me anywhere in Boston.
11. Boston, a major and historic city.

Langdell Law Library, which contains the largest law collection in the States.

I will bring you lots more about law school life in general once I have more a concrete feel for what this semester is going to be like. I understand that I’m already five weeks in, but somehow, I still feel like I’ve only gotten my feet wet, and I don’t know what things are going to be like a month from now. Perhaps I feel this way because I still don’t know who my good friends are going to be, how busy I will really be, and because the great fear of final exams has not yet descended upon us 1Ls.

Suffice it to say my general impression so far is that law school is not nearly as bad as people have made it out to be. I feel like I can handle the reading, and I don’t feel like I’m “drowning.” I don’t feel like the military analogies apply (yet). No one in my section has clearly stood out as a gunner (the law school term for a douchey know-it-all), and people still have time for extracurricular activities.

The infamous Professor Kingston

On the other hand, things haven’t been perfect either. It turns out that my apartment is next door to a clinic for recovering heroine addicts. No joke. Not even a little bit. (I wish it were.) I wouldn’t care, except that the people who go to this place enjoy loitering and smoking outside sometimes, and I don’t care to hear their conversations when I’m studying, or worse, sleeping.

I also don’t feel right now like I’m necessarily going to perform better than average on the exams. This is a scary thought for someone who has never really had that problem. I guess this is also how I felt when I first started my undergraduate career, but somehow it seems more pronounced this time. People here are in it for their careers. People here did something amazing to be here. Some people here are brilliant. Of course, I am very happy too that my peers seem highly intelligent and insightful because this is exactly the type of environment that breeds scholars, leaders, and history-makers, etc., etc. I have enjoyed hearing enlightening debates in class and having discussions about economics, law, politics, and science outside of class. However, it is nerve-wracking, too, to feel like I’m not in control of the situation because I’m not at the top of my game. I won’t elaborate excessively on this point because I’m speculating a lot, while it’s still early, and letting 1L nerves get to me.

Every now and then, I try to keep things in perspective by thinking about where exactly I am in my life. My thought process goes something like this.

I was nervous when I first got to high school. The first day of school, I forgot to put in my contact lenses and wore my really old, somewhat useless, glasses instead. I also forgot to put on makeup. I couldn’t see the board. I realized that I didn’t have any classes with my best middle school friends. In the end, I turned out just fine.

I was nervous when I first arrived at college. The day I moved in was my birthday. My parents and I had a big fight. I had to pretend everything was fine for all the new people I was meeting. I started a long-distance relationship. The friends I made during my first semester didn’t end up being my good friends for the rest of college. Some things sucked, but other things didn’t. I turned out just fine.

When I first got to Shanghai for my semester abroad, I was very sick. I was going to the other side of the world, and I was weak, feverish, with swollen lymph nodes and gastrointestinal issues that I’d rather not remember. I had to visit a foreign hospital 6 times. At the same time that I was worried about my health, I was afraid of being a burden on my new friends, of being that girl, the sick girl. But slowly, I got better, I made some good friends and one best friend, and I had the fantastic semester that I had been planning for over a year. In the end, I was fine.

To borrow and abuse some legalese, although my past success is no guarantee of my future success, it rightly creates a reasonable expectation of continued success. In short, if my track record means anything, I think I will also be fine in law school.

Cornily yours,
Your little 1L

I will be spending the next two weeks in California with the bf, since he can’t stay on the East Coast because of a little thing I won’t have to worry about for at least 3 more years called “work.” It’s been about 60 degrees every day, which, while not warm enough for dresses/skirts, has been warm enough to go out and about without a coat, which could never happen at this time of year back in the East. It’s like reliving fall again, except that it’s January and the grass is turning green from yellow, rather than the other way around, as is normally experienced for someone from the Northeast.

I bought new Under Armour running shoes on sale for just $29 last week (the bf got a matching men’s pair in orange), since we plan on doing a bicycle tour of San Francisco this weekend, and I didn’t bring sneakers home with me for winter break.

I didn’t feel bad about the purchase, even though it was the latest of a slew of needless purchases, since the last time I bought running shoes was in the 10th grade, when I attempted to do indoor track. I joined under the pretense that indoor track would involve indoor practices, but much to my dismay, found out that only track meets would be indoors. Daily practices would involve jogging outside in the snow. I quit after three weeks. I suppose it is a shameful part of my history, since I hate to be a quitter, but at least I can say I pushed my unathletic self to give it a shot. But I digress…

Since I bought the new sneakers and the weather permitted, I actually went jogging on Monday, and with the bf’s incessant coaching (which is one reason why I love him), I jogged for 3 miles! That is quite an accomplishment for me, so shut it, you! It’s been two days and my legs are still sore though. I might jog again this afternoon. The problem is that every time I try to make running a habit, I end up resting for too long between jogging days because my legs aren’t used to the hard work, and then I end up getting lazier and lazier, since I give myself too much credit for pushing myself particularly hard a couple of times. I think the key is not to go overboard in pushing myself at the beginning, or I won’t want to run again, since I’ll just think about the pain I felt last time and how hard I’ve already worked.

The bf apparently never uses lotion, which you gals know we can’t live without, so I also recently purchased Burt’s Bees Honey & Shea Butter Body Butter at Safeway, California’s version of Stop and Shop. (The bf’s reaction was, “Body butter? That’s messed up. Why would you smear butter over yourself? Are you going to be fried or something?” Sigh…)

True to it’s name, it comes in the form of off-white butter, and has the hardness of edible butter. I like it because it is 98.01% natural, including such ingredients as beeswax, mango butter, shea butter, honey, and aloe, and also has a rich, creamy consistency that allows it to fill in those microscopic cracks and crevices on my winter skin that give it the look of a parched, African desert when you look at it up close.

An interesting or rather, disturbing, aside to my trip to Safeway is that a man my dad’s age tried to pick me up there. I went alone while the bf was at work. I did notice that a lot of the shoppers around two in the afternoon were probably housewives. Safeway’s culture must have been friendly, since three employees who happened to be stocking shelves near me said, “Hello! How are you?” I think partially because of this amicability, I wasn’t really thrown off when a man next to me in the laundry aisle asked me, “Do you know where the bleach for colors is? Do they even have it?” I spotted it near him and pointed it out to him in the friendly, customary manner expected between two strangers at a grocery store. He thanked me and asked if I came here often. I didn’t know if he was joking, but I responded, “No, actually it’s my first time here.” He smiled and made eye contact, holding out his hand and introducing himself, “I’m X.” I was a little surprised that the conversation was not over, but once again, attributing his friendliness to Californian culture, I shook his hand and told him my first name. He said he liked my boots. I said, “Thanks! Anyway, I’m all set here,” and walked away, a little eager to get away from him. At the checkout line a couple of minutes later, he came by again to tell me that he was getting bleach for sensitive skin. I responded, “Ah! Good luck” but turned back around, hoping to send the message that that was all I wanted to say to him. I was glad not to see him in the parking lot, and made it home undisturbed.

Overall, the encounter wasn’t exactly “creepy,” but who the heck goes to grocery stores to pick up women? And how about going after someone your own age? Yes, this is a message to some of you men out there. I really can’t imagine such tactics working, besides maybe on a desperate housewife.

In other news, I visited Stanford Law School with the bf yesterday, and while I didn’t get to peek into any classrooms (it seemed like classes were going on everywhere), I did stop at the Office of Admissions, and in a short burst of boldness, asked to speak to someone who could answer a few questions I had about the school. I think it went all right, and although the admin officer didn’t seem particularly interested in my name, I gave it to her anyway. I will probably be setting up an appointment to sit in on a class soon, which should be exciting. This, the San Francisco bike tour, lunch at the Googleplex with the bf’s friend, and a dinner date with the bf at a fancy vineyard restaurant this weekend to come. Stay tuned for more!

Thanks for reading.

Michelle Obama was seen wearing a gorgeous Basso and Brooke top to the White House Evening of Poetry and Music this past spring. Didn’t she look great? Then again, who wouldn’t in that chic, attractive design?

Basso and Brooke explained their reaction to Michelle Obama’s choice to Vogue.com :

“We were amazed when we saw the picture, She is such a strong, stylish lady – redefining a woman’s wardrobe – and for her to select us is an honour. The evening was a music and poetry event, and we think it worked perfectly for that.”

What I liked about the look was that it was it once incredibly classy, but at the same time it was playful, quirky, and intuitively aesthetically pleasing. The many colors complement rather than clash with each other, and the neutral, off-white background of the blouse is reminiscent of a Japanese temple. The top was a great choice for the artsy event.

Of course, even Basso and Brooke ready-to-wear clothes are way out of my price range, but one can gawk and dream. This well-crafted, asymmetrical numbercan be found at Neiman Marcus for a hefty $1,990.

I’ll be keeping an eye on Basso and Brooke, even if I can’t get my hands on their sartorial creations. *Sigh*

And then today, after class, I got a phone call on my cell from area code 510. For a moment, my mind went crazy, and I struggled to remember whether I was talking to Jim about Harvard or Berkeley when he had asked me to check for a 510 phone call. The next moment though, I was picking up the phone and uttering “Hello?” as naturally as possible. As it turns out, it was Dean Tom, and the rest is history.

So right now I’m 3 for 3! I’ve gotten into Duke, Georgetown, and Berkeley, all of which are great schools. Then again, I only applied to schools that I would be happy to attend, and I’m glad I did. No one wants celebrate getting into their back-up school. I’m so happy now. I’m one step closer to being a lawyer.

Of course, there are other problems that accompany this success. The bf is working in California and would like to stay there and live there. However, he might be willing to move to the locale of my law school if he can find a decent engineering job near there. He has complained, however, that the prospects for most places outside of California dim in comparison to those in the Golden State. I love the liberal Californian lifestyle, relaxed mood, and beautiful weather, but I don’t know what will happen if I get into the the first or second ranked schools in the nation. In that case, where would I choose to go? Berkeley Law School is ranked 6th in the national overall and 2nd in intellectual property law, but there are still schools with a more recognizable name and a more prestigious reputation at all levels of education, not just at the graduate level. There’s no formula for determining the better choice. There’s no way to know whether I would be happier choosing one over the other.

Then again, that’s all just speculation, and since I am not in that privileged, bittersweet position as of yet, I will try not to worry too much about it…

I will update as more law school news rolls in.

Finals start next week!

Yours truly,
Ozevolving

As I am sure other people have, I have always noticed the “women and children” grouping, even as a kid. It seems to have always been around, although I can’t find any articles on how it all started. When the movie Titanic came out in fifth grade (which led to my temporary obsession with all of the happenings and history associated with the Titanic), I learned that as the ship sunk on her maiden voyage, the frantic crew began calling out “Women and children first!” urging women and children to come forth for the lifeboats before men could board. At the time, it seemed a little strange, but then again, I understood that this was happening way-back-when and understood that things were different then. Women were in a different social position than they are now.

Randomly, I heard about the “women and children” grouping in the context of the Titanic again. In sixth grade, one of my classmates asked my history teacher why “women and children” got to get in the lifeboats first. The history teacher probably didn’t really know either, and mumbled something about “chivalry” and “only women can bear children,” but nothing that truly justified the grouping.

I’ve heard the argument. I get that only women can become pregnant, and they can only be pregnant with one man’s child at a time. On the other hand, some say, men can impregnate many women in the same time period. The syllogism being implied is somehow that therefore, an individual man’s life is less precious than an individual woman’s life. One man lost doesn’t mean much, because there are other men available to impregnate the women, but one woman’s life lost means that population growth will be stunted.

(Taken from here.)

First of all, how was the human or American population as a whole in any kind of danger of extinction in the case of the Titanic or any other disaster? Do we really need to make sure we can overpopulate the earth, to the extent where we actually value females over males?

The argument also fails to consider the culture in which we obviously live. In the Western world at least, most people are monogamous. They might choose serial monogamy–in which there are many sex partners, but only one actively at a time–but in terms of having children, most people still choose to have kids with one person. So the idea that somehow one man will be able to sow his seed in many women is preposterous. How many women would line up to have children with the same man?

Third, other than the idea that men are less important than women being patently sexist, it’s prima facie untrue. As much as a lot has changed in the past half-century, men still constitute a greater fraction of the workforce than women, and are in more positions of political and managerial leadership than women. The vast majority of combat positions in the army are reserved for men. I’m not saying this is how it should stay, but the fact is, even today, men occupy a unique position in society and men and women are not fungible social and political entities. The take home message is, however much women have unique abilities in terms of reproduction, their abilities don’t make them any more important than men.

Whether an article is talking about some horrible atrocity, natural disaster, or poverty, I see the fact that “women and children” were hurt inevitably thrown in there. It’s as if an event that harmed “women and children” is somehow particularly heinous, beyond what could be expected in tolerable circumstances, if there were to be any, of death and destruction. It’s a phrase that sensationalizes, that supposedly stirs the passions of the public and makes readers gasp at the horror. But is it worth instilling misconceptions in the public about what makes something truly horrible, and does it wrongly group together two distinct groups?

Not only have I shown that the “women and children” grouping is unfair to men, it is also unfair to women. Perhaps there was a time, and still is a time in some places, when women were treated like children. However, the use of “women and children” is not carefully limited to those contexts, but is instead found in articles about the modern Western world and other unhelpful contexts. The grouping insinuates that women are somehow similar to children, that they are helpless, that they can’t fend for themselves the same way men can. While in some cultures, particularly Middle Eastern ones, women are disenfranchised and excluded from the public sphere to this day, the fact remains that women are not children. Women are adults, have adult abilities, adult intellect, and adult physiques. Women are fully developed and mature, and have overcome numerous barriers–traditions, childrearing responsibilties, and discrimination–in order to become visible in the political arena. Women are a force to be reckoned with.

How long is it going to be before our self-proclaimed progressive, culturally sensitive, and politically correct society realizes how backwards they are being with the “women and children” grouping? So much for the strides of 20th century feminism. What is it going to take to make this end? Until we stop seeing “women and children” starving and dying, people will subconsciously believe that women and children form some kind of cohesive social unit. I have shown you that not only is this untrue, this also implies that men’s lives are somehow of a different value than women’s lives. All we need is to say “people” or “the innocent” died or starved, and if we really want to emphasize that is was everyone, then we can say “people of all ages.” Unless it was only women and children or disproportionately women and children, which I don’t expect is true of a natural disaster or civilian bombing, then don’t say “women and children.” Please.

Ideally, I’d like people to read my blog and learn about my experiences, but more than anything, I’m blogging for myself. As someone who kept a diary surprisingly consistently for 8 years while growing up, I have missed writing down my thoughts for my future self and saving the memories I am making forever. From now on, even if I don’t have much time to write a lot, I will at least write a short update about what is happening in my life. One thing I have come to realize is that writing something impressive is not nearly as important as writing something at all. If I hold onto my thoughts for too long, more often than not I forget many things that would have been worth jotting down, however briefly.

So what’s happened since this summer?

I started my senior year of college. I got the stomach flu the Tuesday before the Saturday LSAT and ended up in the ER of the local hospital on Thursday. Although I was weak and worn, I decided to take the LSAT anyway. As I had expected, the logic games section was my hardest section, but overall, I felt about as good as I did on the practice tests. Interestingly, what I had dreaded materialized when I turned to the first page of the test and it was the logic games, but that section turned out to be fairly easy compared to the practice ones, and it boosted my confidence about the rest of the test instead of dampening it. When I got to the second logic games section, I realized that the first one had to have been the experimental section, but at least I got a little more practice on the LG before doing that section because of the experimental section.

I received a 171 on the LSAT. I was aiming for a 172, but because I was sick, a 171 is acceptable. I can only wonder what my score would have been if I hadn’t been sick, since I didn’t study during the last 3 days before the test.

I submitted all of my law school applications between October 25th and October 28th. I was extremely happy to finally be done with that part of my life. On November 4th, I received an acceptance email from Duke Law, so at least I know for a fact now that I’m going to law schoo! Woohoo!

Since receiving my acceptance, I have definitely let myself procrastinate on my work more than I have in past years. Friends still insist that I work abnormally hard, but I really wouldn’t say so. Last night, I went rock climbing, played ultimate frisbee, and got free food from my school’s “Battle of the Late Night Foods.” Today, I spent two hours getting dinner with my suitemates from sophomore year, and then spent another hour watching Cinderella II and III (don’t ask, I stumbled upon them on youtube). By the looks of it, I probably won’t get anything done tonight either.

One constant source of procrastination through my college years has been online shopping or window shopping. In fact, I have started putting together an Anthropologie Christmas wishlist. I adore several of their current online items, but I’m also very aware that Anthro is getting pricier every year. I remember days when many blouses could be found for $68, but now most of the blouses are hovering around the $98 to $118 range. Some of this increase may be attributed to inflation or changes in the fabric used in the winter collection, but the prices are beginning to move entirely out of what I can afford! And yet, many of their items are so temptingly and deliciously covetable. I practically drooled over the following items:

Angora Anthropologie skirt with nylon lining.

A cozy, shapely, one-of-a-kind sweater.

A delicate, feminine top to wear under a cardigan.

This piece juxtaposes several neutral, earthy tones in order to confer upon its wearer an unassuming aura of peace, oneness with nature, and dignity–all while keeping her warm and cozy. Not only is it attractive, this cardigan is also versatile. It can be worn with jeans and flats, or with a skirt and tights in the fall, winter, or early spring.

The above are just a few of the many pieces (13) that I have added to my wishlist. They’re all pricey, but I feel like I deserve a little reward for finishing my Fulbright and law school applications and getting into Duke. I honestly haven’t celebrated any of these accomplishments properly. I’m finding myself to be a bit of a homebody, going out very few times this semester, but what can I say–I’m not a drinker and it’s too cold to venture willingly outside after hours. My idea of a relaxing night is having a deep, personal conversation catching up with a friend one-on-one, relaxing with half a glass of wine, and reading a captivating novel in bed until I feel my lids becoming heavy. Perhaps this makes me lame. Perhaps this makes me too old for my age. But, that’s just who I am.

What else should I quickly get into this entry before going to bed? The freshman are looking younger than ever before. I’ve been told that I couldn’t pass for 18 (oh no, am I looking old already?!), and I have been dreaming more than ever of my future in law school. As much as I can’t wait for law school, one of the things I’m looking forward to the most is living in the same house/apartment for three years. As a homebody, I enjoy being able to fully unpack and decorate my living area. However, since I have been moving to a different location on campus every year as a undergraduate, I haven’t fulfilled my need to nest. Although it might be a bit premature to say all of this will happen, I can’t wait to live with my bf, make the new apartment truly homey, and adopt kittens after this year!

That’s one thing I’ve been realizing about myself, over and over–no matter what’s happening at present, I’m always looking forward to the future. This has been true almost as far back as I can remember. In middle school, it was remaking myself at my new school in CT and developing physically (I was always the shortest, skinniest kid in my grade until 6th grade). In high school, I was looking forward to getting my driver’s license, making my own money, and going off to college. In college, it was getting to know all these new people, taking exciting classes, and studying abroad. Now, it’s going to law school and the things I mentioned before. And I’m already looking forward to having my own house and raising beautiful children 5-10 years into the future. I’ve even started a word document for things to remember when raising my kids.

Pretty much, my outlook on life in the past 10 years has been that life keeps getting better and better. I like that about myself. Let’s hope this continues.

I decided early on to devote this summer to applying to law schools and preparing for the LSAT. I realized that during the last two summers, my internships made it very hard for me to look at the LSAT, since I would mentally excuse myself from looking at my books because I was tired after a day of work. And there was the fact that my high school friends weren’t far from where I was living, so the desire to spend time hanging out with them usually outweighed my motivation to concentrate on more work.

This summer has mostly been a lonely one, since I’m living at my parents’ house, away from where I went to high school. It’s the first time I’ve stayed more than a couple of weeks at home since high school. During the last two summers, I was in Connecticut for internships, and during winter breaks, I shuffled between CT and NJ. Luckily, I’ve stayed in touch over the years with a best friend who I went to elementary school with here in NJ, so I called her up a couple of weeks ago, and we hung out. It was nice catching up and seeing how little things have changed. But since she’s living with her boyfriend at Rutgers, taking classes there, and has her own summer travel plans, I can’t expect to see her more than a few times. My boyfriend is also away in California working at his new full-time job at a national lab. I flew out in July to see him, and while we had a great time, I also find it hard to push the thought of us always being apart out of my mind.

Taken at the beach at Santa Cruz

Although my parents are around, I haven’t actually had any conversations at length with them. At least we haven’t gotten into big arguments the way we would back when I was in high school. Back then, it seemed like the bickering would never end. Since college, it’s been a lot more peaceful between us, but it’s also sad that this harmony is coming after my childhood, when it would’ve meant so much more to my development and happiness while I was growing up. Besides bland conversations over dinner about law schools and their work lives, we haven’t talked about much.

I have talked to my brother, K., quite a lot more this summer than I have in the past two years. And while two years seems like such a short time to me now, I realize that at his age (15 years), two years means a world of difference. He has grown up so much during my absences at school already, and one reason I don’t feel as bad about being stuck at home this summer is that now I can see him before he grows up entirely. He’s about 5’ 7” now and since he only started getting growth spurts last year, I’m guessing he’ll be at least 5’10 before he stops growing. This might not seem like news to anyone, but in our short, Asian household, it means we’ll have someone “tall.” It seems silly to be obsessing over my brother’s height, but thinking about K. has always brought out my maternal instincts. With our six-year age gap, I’ve always felt protective and nurturing towards him. Often times when I disagreed with my parents’ authoritarian attitude and lack of effort in communicating with me for reasons other than school, I mentally noted the things I resented and promised myself to give K. more than what I got.

Besides SAT verbal prep classes earlier this summer and marching band practice coming up in mid-August, K. has spent his time with me at home. Of course, I remind him to do all the things (i.e. summer reading, AP chemistry prep, physics SAT II prep, and clarinet) that my parents made him write down in a schedule, and I do get mad and discipline him when I’m pretty sure he’s been playing games online for hours instead of working, but I try to maintain a balanced approach to being a good older sister. It’s complicated. On the one hand, I want to “parent” him because I want to see him grow up well, but on the other hand, I really want to be a sister to him, not a mom. I don’t want him to be constantly stressed out or even scared when talking to me the way I was talking to my parents while growing up. I want him to think he can share things with me he wouldn’t with my parents. I want to be a role model for him, to tell him how I got to where I am, and to be there for him.

Over lunch, I’ve tried casually starting conversations about how school life is or asking him about his friends in the neighborhood. It seems so natural for siblings in other households to talk to each other normally, but when you grow up in a household where the parents don’t lead normal conversations with the expectation that everyone will participate, but rather address each child separately, you end up feeling awkward and unfamiliar with what to say when the parents are out of the picture. It’s even more awkward now that K. is a teenager and is capable of sharing his personal life on a much more equal level to me, since when he was little he’d just talk about whatever small topics were currently distracting him. I used to be able to address him like he was a little kid, but now, just two years later, he deserves more respect and can’t be talked to that way anymore. I also realize that as we get older and older, the less and less the age gap will matter.

I took K. out to Friendly’s the other day, since we got some coupons in the mail, and enjoyed a nice lunch together. We made fun of the bad service, since the waitress really didn’t seem to want to be there, and made small talk. I tried to get him to tell me who he had a crush on, but he got embarrassed and just asked why I wanted to know. Even though it must’ve been awkward for him, I think I made progress, just by letting him realize that A) I’m interested in the goings-on in his life and B) That I’m not going to be mad at him for sharing. Perhaps he’ll tell me by the end of the summer!

Even if I don’t significantly raise my LSAT score through the Powerscore course I’m taking in Manhattan, at least I will have bonded with my brother. The LSAT really is getting on my nerves, though. My score has pretty much barely changed (always +/- 1 point) on the practice tests, even though I feel like I’m learning a lot through the course and homework materials. I know my biggest problem is the Logic Games. I haven’t gotten to answer questions on the fourth game during the last three practice tests I’ve taken, much less finish the section. It bothers me a lot because I know that given just 5-10 more minutes, I could essentially get all the questions in that section correct. It’s disheartening because even though I’m doing many, many practice games, I can’t seem to get my speed down to 9 minutes a game. Given that I’m doing much better on the other sections of the LSAT, doing poorly on the logic games makes me feel even dumber. It’s as if I’ve always been hiding a secret deficiency because up till now, nothing brought my disability to light. Now, LSAT preparations are shining a light on this gross deformity, this atrophied muscle that had never been exposed. Please excuse the political incorrectness of this statement, but it’s like I now realize that I’ve been a high-functioning retard the entire time. I seriously hope that over the next month, I can overcome this and that if I don’t do well on the LSAT, at least it’s not because I couldn’t finish.

In other news, I’ve been reading Anarchy and Elegance, Confessions of a Journalist at Yale Law School by Christ Goodrich. It’s about a journalist who did a one-year M.S.L. degree at Yale to supplement his journalism training. It’s interesting because he writes about Yale Law School from an insider’s perspective, but at the same time, he maintains some distance between himself and the institution because he doesn’t aspire to become a lawyer and he’s only there for the one year. However, the book probably isn’t very good for my morale given that I’m applying to law school. Goodrich appears committed to the conclusion that law school makes you lose your humanity, your soul. He criticizes the cold, meticulous way in which law imposes a set of rules that are to be applied whenever certain facts exist, with the human face of the players involved in the case removed from consideration. He is disgusted by the way in which Supreme Court cases are often decided because the justices just want to clarify a view of theirs or because they don’t want to allow a certain case to imply the legality of an action in future cases, which Goodrich views as the case turning on mere technicality, rather than on the implications for the lives of the people in the case. He also doesn’t like the fact that law generally doesn’t allow for uncertainty or exceptions; juries are never told to decide whether a defendant is “probably guilty,” even though the reality is often that there is no certainty.

I think I’ll read Anarchy and Elegance to the end, just because it’s readable and relevant, and I don’t like stopping books in the middle, but I hope that Goodrich leaves some room for me to believe that lawyers aren’t all evil and heartless. I often find myself looking for sentences that show the weakness of his reasoning or overgeneralizations he makes so I can mentally attack his credibility. This works to an extent actually, since I think he does over-exaggerate (his journalism background coming through?) and he says that he never wanted to be a lawyer in the first place. He even says in the beginning that he had a long-standing joking with a friend that the friend should shoot him if he ever became a lawyer.

Between the book, visiting the boyfriend again, LSAT stuff, law school apps, nine cycles of America’s Next Top Model, and bonding with the brother, I have a lot of things to do in the remaining month I have left before senior year begins.